We all know the power and emotion that music can have in our daily lives and significant moments, whether it's the warm sunny every day with the windows down blasting your favorite song or the song that has gotten you through some tough times.

Music can make us feel something, bring back memories, change our mood, and transport us to a different place. When it comes to your wedding, getting the music right is so important for setting the right tone and vibe for your celebration, especially your party.

Through years of experience as an event and wedding DJ, I've seen some things that work great and some that work, well, not so great. Couples make some common mistakes, and in this blog, we'll discuss some of them and how to avoid them.

5 Mistakes to Avoid with Wedding Music

Mistake #1: Not Considering the Vibe You Want

Setting the Tone with Music

Music sets the tone for every part of your wedding, from the ceremony through the reception. If you don't consider the vibe you want for each of these elements, it can throw off the whole party.

Reflecting on the Vibe

When you're thinking about the vibe for your wedding, consider what you want at the end of the night. Do you want a wild, raging dance floor, or are you looking for something calmer and more subdued—a good overall time with your friends and family? These are important reflections.

• Do you want everything to be super upbeat?

• Or is this a chance for everyone to hang out and enjoy each other's company?

If you don't think about these aspects, your choice of music and the direction you give to your DJ can really throw things off.

For instance, if you express to your DJ, "Hey, we really love EDM. We want this to be a bumpin' party,” but also want to incorporate a TV show like Bridgerton for the cocktail hour and dinner music, you may end up missing your desired vibe. The music choices need to set the right tone for the entire evening.

A Musical Journey

Think of the soundtrack for your wedding as a mountain with peaks and valleys. Do you want the party to end at the summit, or do you want to summit early and come down?

To organize this effectively, consider the different parts of the wedding day:

1. Ceremony: Typically, lighter and more romantic music is ideal—not necessarily super energetic.

2. Cocktail Hour: Bring the energy up to reflect the excitement of just getting married.

3. Dinner: Start by bringing the energy down; guests have been busy all day and may need a moment to relax and converse before the dance floor.

4. Dancing: Elevate the vibe halfway through dinner and align with the DJ on your music. Decide if you want to keep it high-energy all night or ride fluctuations to end on a calmer note.

By thoughtfully planning the musical elements, you can create the perfect atmosphere for your celebration.

Mistake #2: Leaving Song Choices Too Vague

While it may seem complimentary to tell a DJ, "We trust you, just do your thing," this can actually complicate the wedding DJ's job. As a couple, it's important to provide guidance and insight instead of leaving everything up to the DJ's skills, experience, and intuition to read the dance floor and the guests at the party. A good DJ should be able to do this, but you can help set them up for success.

To create a better party atmosphere, it's crucial to give the DJ some direction. At the very least, list must-play songs and share a general idea of the genres and artists you love. This gives the DJ a solid starting point. For some DJs, that may be enough, while others might appreciate additional input. Personally, I enjoy receiving music suggestions from my clients, as it helps me curate the wedding playlist effectively and ensures it aligns with your preferences.

Mistake #3: Overloading with Must-Play Songs

When choosing songs for your wedding playlist, it’s crucial to strike a balance. While you don’t want to be too vague with your choices, also be careful about overwhelming your DJ with an excessive number of must-play tracks. A good range for must-play songs is typically around 10 to 15.

Remember that not every song on your must-play list will suit the dance floor; some may work better for the cocktail hour or dinner.

Requesting an extensive list of mandatory songs—like 50 for the dance portion—might actually take away from the overall experience. This can make it harder for the DJ to craft a smooth musical journey that truly connects with your guests’ vibe and energy.

It's important to trust your DJ. The most helpful thing you can do is prioritize a handful of significant tracks and allow your DJ the flexibility to manage the rest, including when and how they are played. However, be sure to discuss the importance of your chosen songs with your DJ, especially if they hold special meanings.

Mistake #4: Skipping a Do-Not-Play List

When planning your wedding music, discussing the songs you don’t want to hear is just as important as highlighting the must-play tracks. Here are some key points to consider:

1. Communicate Your Avoidances
   Talk to your DJ about specific artists, genres, or songs you want to avoid.

2. Artist Controversies
   Many DJs might prefer to skip artists with negative associations, such as R. Kelly and P. Diddy. Others might believe that a good song transcends the artist's background. Discussing this with your DJ to ensure you're on the same page is essential.

3. Group Participation Songs
   Some DJs love to play group participation or line dance songs like the Cupid Shuffle or Cha Cha Slide, while others might avoid these. Interestingly, some songs previously considered "cheesy," like the YMCA, are making a comeback. If you dislike songs like this, share your thoughts with your DJ.

4. Negative Associations
   Consider tracks that may evoke negative memories for you, even if they are generally well-received. These might include songs tied to past relationships or family issues. A do-not-play list can effectively communicate your preferences, but avoid overwhelming your DJ with minor selections.

5. Meaningful Do-Not-Play Lists
   Ensure that every song on your do-not-play list has a valid reason behind it. If you strongly dislike artists like Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, or Ed Sheeran, make that clear to your DJ. If they push back about these artists or songs, you might want to look for another DJ. There are plenty of songs out there, and it shouldn’t be hard to avoid them in the 2-3 hours of dancing at your wedding.

6. Request Handling
   Finally, ask how your DJ handles song requests, especially for artists or tracks you’d rather avoid.

Mistake #5: Not Selecting Music That Tells Your Story

Memories

This mistake ties together all our previous ones: not selecting music that tells your story. We live in a time of infinite personalization, and this should be seen as a positive thing. Creating a unique soundtrack for your wedding should be one of your main goals. A generic wedding playlist resembling the past five weddings you've attended is not enjoyable for you or your guests, especially for the younger guests who have also been to many weddings recently.

If you and your partner have specific or niche music tastes, don't hesitate to incorporate these into your wedding day. This day is for you, after all. While it's important to cater to all of your guests to make them feel comfortable and represented in the music, it should still reflect your personal style. Whether that means having your DJ play remixes of classic songs with a contemporary twist or showcasing your love for indie rock during cocktail hour and dinner, clearly communicate your preferences with your DJ. Ensure they are willing to listen and implement your vision.

Reflecting on Your Musical Journey

When it comes to selecting music for your DJ—whether it's on the must-play list, the do-not-play list, or simply songs you love—reflect on various times in your life:

• High School: Were you someone who attended dances? What were the popular songs everyone danced and sang along to?

• College: Did your school have specific songs that were significant? Were there tunes that always played in bars or clubs?

Consider songs from meaningful moments together too, like those from your first date or a memorable road trip. Choosing these songs adds emotional depth to your playlist and helps you stand out from the typical, cliché wedding DJ playlists.

Additionally, think about songs that will resonate with your guests. Are there tracks that hold special meaning for your friends and family that will surprise and delight them, evoking shared memories?

READ: 10 Modern First Dance Songs

Planning the Perfect Playlist

In my final planning meetings with couples, we review their must-play list song by song, and I ask why they chose each track. The reasons could be as simple as loving the song or having a special story related to it. Over the years, I've learned that if there's a story behind a song, my perception of when to play it might be different. By understanding the significance of each song, I can better place it in the lineup for the night. A couple might include a song on their must-play list that I feel is better suited for cocktail hour, but upon hearing the story behind it, I realize it needs to be played during peak dancing time.

Remember, this day is about you, your partner, and your journey together. Share your story up to this moment.

To Avoid These Mistakes

The three things that you should remember from this article are:

1. Partner with a Professional DJ: Make sure to collaborate with a DJ who understands and respects your vision for your wedding day.

2. Brainstorm Meaningful Songs: Take the time as a couple to brainstorm songs that resonate with your relationship, your past, your friends, and your family. At the very least, compile them into a Spotify or Apple Music playlist and share it with your DJ, allowing them to take the lead.

3. Communicate Openly: Discuss your preferences, vibe, and music choices with your DJ. They appreciate your trust, but remember that communication is essential, much like studying for a final exam.

READ: How to Choose a Wedding DJ

Make It Memorable

Remember that selecting thoughtful music choices for your wedding day is super important for making sure that your day is as unique as you are. It sets the vibe. It tells the story, and this is the start of your married life. Start it off with the vibe that you want, the energy that you want, and use music to help you get there. The soundtrack of your wedding day is really the heartbeat of the whole day. It ties everything together, from the ceremony through the cocktail hour, dinner, and reception. There is very rarely a moment without music on your wedding day.

Don't leave your wedding music to chance. Ensure that this celebration—the biggest party you'll ever throw for yourselves—is one to remember.

Get in Touch

I would love to chat with you if you're looking for a DJ to create an incredible soundtrack for your wedding, whether you're in Boston, New England, or beyond.

Head over to our contact section, send me a message, and let me know how I can help!